How to Be a Better Husband

The Daily Omer. Omer Dylan Redden

Today, I want us to focus on an idea that comes up multiple times in the Bible:

The idea of God being the husband/bridegroom and us being the bride. 

I’ll admit it’s quite tough for me to try to imagine being a woman / wife. But it’s not difficult for me to imagine God being a husband. I know what it’s like to be a husband and it’s not easy.

I can’t speak for all marriages, but many of the marriages I have seen are not 100% healthy. In fact, I’ve seen a lot more marriages in the gutter or end in divorce than I’ve seen succeed. Why?

Because marriage is hard work. It’s damn hard.

It’s easier for me to work. It’s easier for me to be alone and enjoy some peace and quiet. It’s easier for me to do chores. It’s even easier for me to watch my kids or play with them. All of those things are easier for me than actually spending time with my wife.

I love my wife. I have a deep appreciation for her. She’s my best friend. We work well as a team. We have a solid relationship, and we have great sex to boot! But at the end of the day, the relationship of marriage can be hard work. 

If you feel the same way, that’s totally ok. It’s normal. But allow me to give you one small challenge:

What if it could be better?

What if you could learn how to do this whole marriage thing at another level?

Would you do it? 

I would.

In fact, I did.

My wife and I decided to do marriage counseling. How did we decide? She said we needed to improve our relationship and communication; I said I was willing to improve. She researched and found the counselor and scheduled it. We met over a dozen times. Well worth it!

Speaking of investing in your marriage, a friend of mine heard this from his pastor a few years back. His pastor said,

“It’s amazing… people will spend 1000s or even 10s of thousands of dollars to get married; but they won’t spend a few hundred bucks to stay married.”

Quite insightful, eh? 

Whether it’s a marriage conference, a marriage retreat, a book, an online course, or counseling…I’d recommend doing something. And whether you view it as trying to fix your marriage, save your marriage, or simply grow and improve your marriage, I don’t really care and I don’t think God does either. Just do something for your marriage.

I didn’t realize until I was in my 30s that you could do counseling just to stay healthy. I thought you only went if your marriage was on the rocks and you were thinking about divorce. But no, all kinds of people do counseling. Extremely healthy people do counseling. Why? Because it’s always good to have a 3rd party, a neutral party, coaching you, speaking into your life, and helping you see your blind spots. Great counselors can translate, mediate, and even help you see — like you’ve never seen before.

Someone once told me: “In business, play to your strengths. In relationships, work on your weaknesses.”

I don’t know about you, but in my marriage, I have a lot of weaknesses to work on.

God is an incredible husband to us. Perhaps we can learn to be the same to our wives.

Published by omerdylanredden

I write.

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