The last post focused primarily on single people. This post is primarily for married people.
Simple summary for simple people: Talk about sex with your spouse. The Bible encourages it.
People who like an explanation, read on:
Dear Mr. or Mrs. _____,
Please talk about sex with your spouse. It is not taboo. It is not a difficult conversation. It is not awkward after the first discussion. Talk about sex and get on the same page. If you’re in this for a lifetime, you want to get this sex thing worked out early, so it gets better and better with time, not worse and worse. So, ask your spouse: How often do you want sex? What times or scenarios are ideal? Do you like certain positions better? Do you like sex to be quick or drawn-out? Do you like a warm-up? What brings you the greatest pleasure? What do you like to do afterward?
All these questions are a sampling of what you can ask. And remember, have the conversation at regular intervals. It doesn’t have to be daily or weekly or even monthly; just keep the lines of communication open. Just like everything else in life, your sex life will have seasons—especially during the child-bearing years.
Last, but not least, I want you to know why I (and Rick) encourage this. We advise you do this because of something Paul said in a letter to the church in Corinth. In that letter, Paul said, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does,” which makes feminists today cringe. But he continues on and says, “Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does,” which makes the male supremacists cringe. Way back then, all the way through today, this teaching has caused some waves. It causes waves because it destroys your autonomy. You become submissive to your spouse and your spouse becomes submissive to you. But trust me, when you do it well, you’ll feel the magic, both sexually and spiritually.
With all sincerity,
omer
PS: You can find the referenced sermon at http://www.imagodeicommunity.com/sunday/sermon-archive/ .
Omer Redden 