The Power of a Daily Habit

When you decide to create a daily habit, two things will happen:

1) Resistance will rise up.
2) You will become stronger.

Here are a few quick thoughts on those two ideas.

Resistance Rises Up

You’re going to feel challenged on this daily habit most days. First, because you’re doing something new. You haven’t done this consistently before. Of course, it’s going to be hard. Of course, it’s not going to feel natural. Of course, it’s going to stretch you.

On your best days, you’ll feel like doing the new habit.

On your average days, you’re going to encounter some small obstacles.

On your worst days, you’re going to face The Resistance and all of its lies head-on.

You’re going to need some tools to get around it, some strategies to outsmart it.

Maybe you go for a brief walk. Maybe you do 20 pushups. Maybe you turn on a certain playlist and jam. Maybe you sit in a specific chair in a specific room for the sake of this routine. Maybe you read affirmations. Maybe you pray.

Whatever you choose, when you face this resistance and you beat it…

You Become Stronger

You become stronger.

Each day you don’t give in, you build that muscle.

Each day you don’t give up, you grow your resilience.

Each day you don’t quit, it becomes easier to keep going.

The habit starts to become a part of who you are.

It’s part of your character.

I’m a writer, therefore, I write every day.

I write every day, therefore, I’m a writer.

What’s a Daily Habit You Could Start?

Chances are, you’re not a writer. There are literally endless amounts of options you can choose for a daily habit. Here are ten to get you started:

  1. A reading habit
  2. An exercise habit (walking, biking, lifting, yoga, etc)
  3. A sleep routine
  4. A calorie or food-related goal
  5. A screen-time limit
  6. A new hobby (drawing, knitting, learning a language, etc)
  7. A daily savings habit
  8. A gratitude list
  9. A drink-related goal (more water, a controlled number of ounces of coffee, lemon-ginger drink, etc)
  10. A mindfulness or meditation habit

Don’t try all of these at once. That would be silly. But pick something. Pick one thing.

Start a simple tally tracker.

Then, don’t break the streak!

Getting Kicked in the Face

My daughter came home from cheer and mentioned she was frustrated. She got kicked in the face. Elbowed in the face. Caught a knee to the chin. Three different stunts. Glasses smashed into her nose. Made her cry.

And she’s a tough cookie!

I get it, girl.

Literally, I’ve had it happen. Not in cheer, but while wrestling with the boys. Or while playing a sport. It sucks.

If you wear glasses, or even if you don’t, you know how it feels. It surprises you. It hurts. It activates the tear ducts. Your eyes usually water even you don’t fully cry.

Sometimes, its not the pain as much as the surprise.

But metaphorically, I’ve felt it too.

Someone says something to you and it hurts your feelings. Someone does something and it pains you. Today, even, I felt like I got kicked in the face.

Whether its intentional, accidental, or unrelated, it doesn’t matter. When a foot or elbow hits your face, it surprises you and it hurts. It may even make you cry.

What’s the takeaway?

I let my daughter vent her frustrations. I made sure she was done with the rant. Then I told her let’s take three deep breaths.

Breathe.

Feel the pain, recover, move on.

You’ll be stronger, tougher, more resilient.

Just don’t let the same person elbow you or kick you day-in, day-out. That’s abuse.

7 Things God Hates

The first time I ran across this in the Bible, I was flabbergasted.

Up to this point in my life, I had heard that God was love, God was forgiving, and God was full of mercy and grace. He wanted a relationship with me, and the only thing I knew in the negative column was that He couldn’t tolerate sin. 

But I didn’t know He “hated” anything or anyone.

Then, I came across this section in Proverbs 6 and immediately sat up straighter, eyes open wider, and ears open to hearing exactly what it is He hates. 

So, the 6 things the Lord hates, yes 7 are an abomination (what does that mean?!):

  • God hates–arrogant eyes 
  • God hates–a tongue that lies 
  • God hates–hands that murder the innocent 
  • God hates–a heart that hatches evil plots 
  • God hates–feet that race down a wicked path 
  • God hates–a mouth that lies under oath 
  • God hates–one who sows discord among brothers

You realize how much God hates lying. Mentioned twice in the list of seven. 

The Teacher could have listed any number of other things, but He didn’t. He didn’t fully use the 10 commandments. He didn’t use a list of 12, 25, or 100. He kept it simple, memorable, and mentioned lying twice.

That last item on the list, the translations and synonyms are worth paying attention to.

  • Some say, “a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”
  • Some say, “one who sows discord among friends.”
  • Some say, “a troublemaker in the family.”

They are close, but the variation keeps it interesting.

Stirring, sowing, making || conflict, discord, trouble || amongst the community, friends, and family.

That’s enough for one sitting.

Friday Night Fiction (Part 5)

“Why’d you do it?” I asked him.

I never liked small talk. I didn’t see what other people saw in it. Figured my question would cut to the chase.

“Huh?” he looked back at me, head cocked.

“Why’d you choose to adopt her?” I clarified.

“Oh,” he focused back on the TV. His favorite driver was trying to make a pass in the Nascar race. “Did you see that?! Ol’ Jeff just made a move. Ah hell, nevermind, you don’t watch Nascar.”

He took another swig of beer. This pause to answer was taking longer than the answer itself. “Get ’em Jeff! Atta boy!” he yelled at the TV.

Eventually, he came back to answer my question. “I guess we just got sick of seeing the system fail her. You know, she never really had a shot when she’s getting a new mommy and daddy every six months.”

“Yeah, it’s a broken system for sure.”

I debated whether to be satisfied with that answer or not. It felt truthful. But as the saying goes, there’s usually more to the picture than meets the eye.

Decided to try another.

“Was that it? Or were there any other reasons?”

He focused back on the TV. Swig. Four more laps…

Design Something Beautiful

👨‍🎨 My wife

👨‍🎨 Lamborghini Murcielagos

👨‍🎨 Jordan 4 Spizike

👨‍🎨 Stetson button-down shirts

👨‍🎨 Tecovas boots

👨‍🎨 Norman Foster architecture

👨‍🎨 Crossing Pirates Cove

👨‍🎨 The Gladiator soundtrack

👨‍🎨 Macbooks

👨‍🎨 AlexBrush font

Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess

Do you ever struggle with a mental mess?

Negative thoughts, negative self-talk. Some people I know call it “head trash.”

Or, perhaps the thoughts aren’t negative, they’re just jumbled. You don’t feel like you can think clearly.

Whether its negative or jumbled or some other mental mess, I came across a process that can help. It comes from a book by Dr. Caroline Leaf Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess. The book is meaty, verbose, and has heavy neuroscience to it, but I think this concept is super valuable. The process goes like this:

It starts with awareness of negative thought, jumbled thoughts, or some version of head trash.

  • Step 1: Gather the physical, emotional, and informational warning signs. How are you feeling? Bring awareness to the anxiety, angst, etc. Name it. Identify it. Call it out. Example: I feel overwhelmed right now.
  • Step 2: Reflect on the physical, emotional, and informational warning signals. How did it come about and how did it effect you? Did anything particular happen to bring it on? Example: I feel overwhelmed because I read the news, saw a request from my boss, and realized I forgot to do something for my spouse.
  • Step 3: Write to bring clarity. Get it all out on paper. Answer the who, what, when, where, why, how questions. In process.
  • Step 4: Recheck the physical, emotional, and informational warning signals. You get to design your new healthy thought to replace your toxic thought. Was there anything that could have been done differently? Example: If I wouldn’t have checked email and read the news after 8pm, I might not feel so overwhelmed. I would be winding down on my day, reflecting with gratitude on what I accomplished instead of reactivating unfinished work and feeling obligated to do more to fix what’s wrong in the world.
  • Step 5: Active Reach – rewire and bring about new thoughts. Example: Now, I won’t check email after 8pm and I won’t read that news channel that’s always negative. I will look for positive news.

She calls these The 5 Steps of the Neurocycle. You can look it up and see a diagram or better explanations than what I’ve put above. Here’s the book:

Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess

I’m not an expert at this, at least not yet. But I am getting better.

It’s an awareness tool.

Negative thoughts come to all of us. Our minds feel jumbled sometimes. If we aren’t careful, we will repeat these thought patterns over and over.

But we can break them!

Use this tool, think about how you think, and improve.