Intro To Proverbs

The Backdrop

I’ve been marinating on Proverbs for awhile. Twenty years, at least. 

The first time I read the book of Proverbs, I was in high school. It rocked me, because it seemed to speak to a hundred different situations I was facing.

I’d read something that stuck, try to apply it that day, come back the next day, and do it again. It was invigorating and a top tier challenge as a teenager. 

Three other books rocked me at that time. They were Matthew, John, and Ecclesiastes.

  • Matthew because I never had heard such amazing teachings. Some were life-giving, some gentle, some confrontational, and they all came from a guy named Jesus.
  • John because I saw Jesus again, but in a different light. His I AM statements seemed awfully convincing and his Last Discourse blew my mind and heart.
  • Ecclesiastes because it seemed like the post-conventional wisdom Proverbs. I felt like the author was reading my journal and writing my perspective.

We’ll get to those another time. But, back to the topic at hand, the Proverbs. So pithy, so memorable, so practical.

A Chapter Per Day Keeps The Doctor Away

In fact, the guy who led our youth group / small group read the Proverbs every single month. He’d read one chapter a day and when the month ended, he’d start again. 31 days in most months, 31 chapters. Perfect fit.

To his credit, he was one of the most successful guys I knew at the time, and his wisdom showed. He was probably late 20s, maybe 30 when he led our youth group, but when he spoke, it felt like you were listening to a 60 year old. 

He was fit and active, he had a beautiful wife, they had just started having kids, and he had a well-paying job for a Fortune 50 company. I thought this guy had it all. And when I heard he read Proverbs every day, I said,

“Self, you’d be wise to do the same.”

Now, I’m not as regimented as him — or maybe I just like to read more broadly — so I haven’t read a chapter of Proverbs every day for the past 20 years. But, I have read the book of Proverbs at least 20 times, aka once per year. There’s more to the book than meets the eye.

Call me crazy, but I think there’s ancient wisdom from 3,000 years ago that could be applicable to us today.

It’s been applicable to me, foundational to my development as a man. It’s been foundational to my approach to life. It has helped me as a husband, as a dad, and as a friend.

So we’ll dive in over the coming days, weeks, months ahead. But I won’t write about Proverbs every day. As I mentioned, theology is just one of the buckets. There are four other buckets of goodies we’ll explore: family, business, design, and learning.

The Wrap

For today, that’s enough on Proverbs. Just a set-up. You have to start somewhere.

Maybe it’s a good enough cliffhanger that there’s 20+ years of marinating as a backdrop. And the more you read it, the more years of wisdom it gives you.

Is there anything you’ve thought about for 20+ years?

Have you met any of those folks that seem to be twice their age in wisdom?

I love those folks!

What is The Daily Omer?

For the Type A’s who want to know where this is going and if there’s a plot or plan, the answer is yes. It’s going somewhere.

What will we cover in The Daily Omer?

The main writings will be:

  • on theology
  • on family
  • on business
  • on design
  • on learning.

These will be the buckets. This is where we’re going.

If you want some more specifics, or something more tangible, well…

  • On theology, there’s this thing I’ve been marinating on for 20+ years. We’ll get a taste of that. The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know. Endless discussions to have. So much to explore. Feels like a cave dive and we only get so much oxygen in our tanks.
  • On family, I’ve got this whole notebook on parenting and being a dad at different stages of your child’s development. If you’re a parent, I think you’ll like those posts. It’s not the stereotypical stuff. Being a good husband, so much I’ve learned and so much still to learn.
  • For the business nerds, I’ll dive into some lessons I learned while working in an Inc.5000 fast-growing company and what I’ve learned since leaving and building my own thing. Marketing, sales, product, operations, talent development, and culture, we’ll cover all that. Big teams, small teams, solopreneur, the whole gamut.
  • For design, I’m absolutely enamored with beautiful museums, landscaping, and cathedrals. We’ll look at pictures from Ireland and Barcelona and all kinds of lovely places. What does it mean to design well in physical space and digital space? How do you create an atmosphere? What is flow?
  • For learning, hahaha! Welcome to the jungle my friends!

Why does it matter?

The point sits somewhere beyond the words I have at the moment. A friend texted me today and told me he and his wife were in an accident. The truck flipped three times, was completely totaled, but somehow they walked away unharmed. Not a single injury.

A neighbor kid was riding his bike back home and a car came flying up over the hill on his side of the road. He darted his bike into the ditch to avoid a collision. You know who wins in a 65mph car vs. a bike. The boy was unharmed. Not a single injury.

When I was a teenager, I had three separate incidents in less than a year. Two times where I barely missed head-on collisions because someone came into my lane at 55+mph. One incident where I hydro-planed into a ditch and thankfully avoided telephone poles.

People I loved dearly have died in the past few years. Teachers, professors, mentors, grandparents.

Seriously, I don’t have the words.

Still don’t think these snippets above are quite the right words, but you understand what I’m getting at.

Selah.

Tomorrow may come. It may not. We don’t know when the oxygen will run out of our tanks.

So, I will plan where we want to go with The Daily Omer.

But who knows?

The library is deep. The writing is brief.

We’ll go for a marathon post once in awhile, when its absolutely necessary.

I hope you’ll join me.

39 years old and just getting started.

Tea Time (2)

When I wrote that Tea Time post about being in the doghouse, and the raw, tender, deeply emotional moments… 

You know what I told people when they asked, “How are you and the family doing?” 

“We’re doing ok.” 

That was the outer circle answer. 

If they were one circle closer, 

“We’re going through a rough patch, but we’ll be alright.” 

One circle closer, 

“Kids are good. Hannah and I are trying to sort through some things.” 

One circle closer, 

“Hannah and I are going through a rough patch, probably our roughest one yet. Maybe say a prayer if you think about it.” 

Do you realize what’s going on here? 

I was telling my outermost circle, “We’re doing ok.” “We’re going through a rough patch.” “Trying to sort through some things…”  

…like who has which kids when we get a divorce, and how will we handle the house or should I get an apartment in town that we call my office, and how will we split the vehicles. We’re trying to sort through THAT!  

Then, we’re trying to sort through decades of stacked up emotional pain  

…and times other people hurt us,  

…and times we hurt other people,  

…and times we hurt each other.  

We’re sorting through e-v-e-r-y-thing! 

It was an absolute mess. I was an absolute mess. And I was wearing a mask. 

Now, the other thing that must be mentioned here is boundaries and degrees of trust. Of course, we shouldn’t air all of our dirty laundry with every person who asks “How are you?” Of course, we shouldn’t overshare the most intimate parts of ourselves and our relationships with people we don’t trust. Of course, we shouldn’t share every THING with every ONE. 

But we can have boundaries and still be honest. We can cry when our hearts are breaking. We can confide with 1 or 2 extremely close friends. We need an outlet. 

In that post, I shared with you that I was living in my own prison cell in the basement. My wife and I were not in any semblance of a functional relationship. But my outward answer was, “We’re doing ok.” 

So I ask you… 

  • What’s going on behind the façade? 
  • What’s going on just below the surface? 
  • What’s going on a layer or two deeper? 

When you’re talking to other people…  

What sort of punch is packed in the simplest alternative to “We’re good” vs. “We’re ok.”  

“It’s alright.”  

“On the struggle bus.”  

“Been better.”  

“Just glad to be here.” 

Do we actually hear people? Do we actually hear ourselves? 

As humans, we need other humans. 

At a soul level. 

I revisited the Tea Time post from this angle, because nearly 400 people visited that post in the last couple days. That’s a lot of people. I’m guessing some are in the middle of it. I know some are. 

Marriage is tough. But a healthy one is so worth it. 

Maybe your first one didn’t work, but you’re trying to heal… 

Or your first one didn’t work, but now you’re remarried and sorting through new muck on this second go-round… 

Or if you’re 30+ years into one, but it feels like you’re just living in disillusionment now… 

Or if you’ve never been married or don’t want to be, but you’re still trying to heal from a breakup or a past relational wound… 

The point in all of it, is that you’re not alone. There is still time to do the internal work and heal. There is still time to have the raw discussions and see what happens. 

You aren’t doomed. You aren’t stuck. You aren’t unworthy of love. 

If you need help, reach out.  

If you need counseling, get it. 

You’re not alone. And you are worthy of love. 

Ahead of A.I.

Been on a mission to stay ahead of AI.

Never ran so fast in my life.

But I can’t hand over the pen or the keyboard fully.

Info-based articles – let AI do that.

How-to articles – let AI do that.

Create headlines, partner in brainstorming, suggest revisions – sure, happy to have the AI help!

But I can’t hand over the pen or the keyboard fully.

I have words to write, things to say.

I have messages and stories and dreams and desires…

Any of you writers out there,

Any of you humans out there,

Can I get an amen?!

You know there’s a delight in putting words to paper.

As excruciating as it is,

The real blood

The real sweat

The real tears

Are what makes for great writing.

I’m not delegating that to AI.

I’m not handing that over.

I’ll hold onto the pen and paper until death doth me part.

When God Plays Poker

God forces our hand.  

I told that to someone recently. 

I don’t know if it’s theologically correct. 

There’s not really a verse about it that I can name off the top of my head. 

But it’s a feeling. 

Something I’ve felt again and again. 

Like God knows what He’s doing. He knows everything. 

He knows the cards you’ve been dealt. He dealt them. 

He knows if you’re playing overly conservative, or if you’re playing loosey goosey. 

He knows if you’re playing the hand well. 

And He calls you out. 

He calls your bluff. 

Or, He calls your proof. 

He says, “Show ’em.” 

You lay the cards down on the table.  

You lay your words out on the page. 

Do they hold up? Or are they garbage? 

“You tell me,” He laughs.

Tea Time (1)

Let’s start with a little vulnerability, shall we? 

“Yes! Yes! Give us the tea, Omer!” 

I don’t think we’re ready for the full Boston Tea Party experience. 92,000 lbs is too much to handle! 

But let me give you a small bag, or a dime bag? Let’s stick with a small bag… of tea 😉

Three years ago at this time, I was sleeping on the couch, in the basement, in the dog house of my own home. 

If you were following my wife during this time, she was on the highlight reels of social media. 

Competing for Mrs. Wyoming, winning, competing for Mrs. America in Vegas. It was bonkers! She was (and still is) an absolute smoke show! Fancy dresses, fancy makeup, toned and tan, like a supermodel. 

But what wasn’t shared, what we kept private for that time, was our marital struggles. 

We had happy moments, for sure. There are pictures and videos from that time period where we had blissful experiences. But as late summer turned to fall, we could no longer ignore the monster under the bed. The undercurrent, the backdrop, the tone beneath the surface, was one of struggle and bitterness and years of stacked up pain. 

I had taken the day off work just before my birthday. That way I’d have a three day weekend. 

And that morning, before I left for some alone time in the Wyoming wilderness, my wife told me she had been thinking about separating. In fact, as I remember it, that was the first time we had let the D word enter the conversation. 

Hell of a birthday, huh?! Felt like I was punched in the gut, kicked square between the legs, then the door hit me on the way out. 

From my birthday, all the way through to Thanksgiving, I was living in the basement of my own home. Still working, still eating meals, still showering and getting ready for the days, but doing it from a place of isolation. No touches, no hugs, no kisses in our marriage. No shower peeks, no booty grabs, no innuendos to speak of. She did her thing. I did my thing. 

We wanted to keep a semblance of order for our kids. We didn’t want them to know we were going through the wringer. We did a pretty good job keeping it all hush-hush. But we had so much to work through. I had so much to work through. 

Hours upon hours upon hours of emotional conversations, journaling, counseling, and prayer. Tears upon tears upon tears, coming from a guy who had only cried about 3x total in our first 12 years of marriage. 

But everything was about to fall apart. Everything was about to come crashing down. And who knows how awful that would have been?! 

Have you ever been in the dog house? Ever sent your spouse to the dog house? At the time, it feels more like a prison. At least the animals still get love and attention. But not you, not either of you. 

Have you ever had to discuss how you’re going to handle the holidays, so you appear put together, but you know you’re a wreck? Fake a smile, fake a sickness, fake another obligation? 

Have you ever had to talk to a friend for two hours and word vomit about how you felt blindsided, self-assured in your rightness, just to have them tell you in the kindest and politest way to pull your head out of your ass? You’re part of the problem and it takes two to tango? I appreciate these loyal friends. Eternally grateful for them. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. 

Have you ever had to think through what it would look like to move to another place, likely an apartment, while your spouse took care of the kids at home? Because your spouse was the emotionally present one and you were emotionally absent? 

Have you ever had to sort through heartache and relational wounds from 20+ years ago that had nothing to do with your spouse, just so you can finally move forward in your marriage? 

These raw and tender and deeply emotional moments are happening in our lives or the lives of people all around us… 

Maybe even happening with you, right now, right this moment. 

In the middle of people’s highlight reels, there may be a whole world we don’t know about just below the surface. 

You 

Just 

Never 

Know. 

Announcing The Daily Omer

Guess who’s back? Back again. Shady’s back! Tell a friend.

There’s something here.

I’m hungry.

“Write hungry,” the Spirit said to the Omer.

The Spirit moves where He wants, when He wants, how He wants.

You can’t manufacture Him, you can’t channel Him, you can’t contain Him.

No such thing as turn off or turn on.

He’s always on. You just roll with Him.

I met with a pastor who recognized my name, knew it was Old Testament, knew it was deep in the recesses somewhere, but couldn’t quite place it.

It’s a measurement.

It’s a day’s worth.

It’s “your daily bread.”

“The Daily Omer.”

Our Daily Bread has been running for decades. My grandma used to read it, my mom used to read it, and I even tried a couple. That daily devotional has been published for thousands upon thousands of issues.

But The Daily Omer is a new move, a new wave, a new beginning.

Daily is a lot. Yeast starts small. But it grows gradually.

Not writing, not sharing, not publishing is no longer an option. I’ve been shut up for too long. I’m about to burst.

So here it is… starting at zero.

The Daily Omer.